Love is Not Rude - How To Be Kind When It's Hard

Hello, guys! I hope you guys all had a great holiday season! Today we are diving back into our love series! If you have missed any of the other posts in this series you could still read this one but if you would like to catch up and follow along with us you can click here to check out the whole series. 

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

We are looking at 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and what God says about love. We believe that according to Luke 7:47 which says, “Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little,” you can’t love people well unless you understand how loved you are. Scripture confirms that you must receive in order to have anything to give away. (John 15:12)
I am sure anyone who has bought anything from anywhere in person has had at least one poor customer service experience. Rude people are no fun. It is always startling when someone treats me rudely. Today we are going to talk about how love is never rude.

Sometimes rude people are arrogant, you can check out last week's post to read more about arrogant people. Today though I want to look at and speak to the person who is just not good with people. You’ve been called rude…and a whole lot worse I am sure. I know because this is a pitfall of my own. 

I was one of those people who was bullied at a very young age and it just did something to the way I carry myself. As an adolescent, I went from being bullied to becoming the bully. I learned to put up a hard external shell in order to deflect anything and everything that had any chance of hurting me. I also learned to keep people at an arm's length from me by being very intimidating and unapproachable. 

Now in Christ, He has undone so much of that faulty teaching. My people skill still have quite of bit of room for improvement. I never learned to interact with people in a productive and edifying way. Maybe this is you as well. Maybe you were never necessarily a bully but you learned to keep people at a safe distance from you by being a little unfriendly. Maybe you the person with the cranky looking resting face. Maybe you the person who just doesn’t think that she has anything to add to the lives or conversation that are happening all around you.

If you resonate with any of these I feel you. I get it. The definition of the word rude literally means that you are on the offense. You’re on guard. 

Listen. People are generally reactive. We live our lives based on what is happening within us. If we are struggling to see our own value, the gifts and talents that God has given us or the influence we are capable of I think we will live reacting to all of the smallest of things.

The guy that cut you off will cause you to be short and distracted with the lady at the bank. Your husband’s stressful day at work will cause you to feel insecure and undervalued. You just react to anything and everything that’s happening around you. 

That is why God says love is not rude. It is not reactive. It is not on the offensive. It is not based on the chaos swirling around it. God never treats us rudely. Even when people are rude to Him, His love is never rude in return because it is kind. 

But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Luke 6:36 (emphasis mine)

This is the love we are shown. This is how we are loved. When we choose to rest in that Truth and live our lives in reaction to that rather than the circumstances occurring around us, rudeness just falls off. 

We learn to be kind. We learn that the lady at the bank deserves a smile and our gratitude even though that person cut us off. We learn to be kind and compassionate towards our husbands as they struggle through stressful seasons and God helps us to be a help to them. 

To act rudely is to lose sight of your identity and who you really are. I can look back at moments when I behaved rudely and I can almost immediately recognize and identify the lies about my identity and legacy that I have accepted and partnered with.

Let’s choose to break up with those lies. We have a purpose and we have value because God says so. He has anointed and equipped each of us to have influence and an abundant life. 

We don’t have to be swayed and reactive to the temporary when we are rooted in the eternal. We don’t have to be sour and hateful when we realize all the Jesus has won for us and all of the peace and joy that is at our disposal. 

My encouragement to you is to really meditate on and rest in God’s kindness this week!  Here are some great verses you can look up and write out and even post all around you to remind you how God feels about you. 

You are loved. 
"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16 ESV

You are important. 
I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20 ESV

You are accepted. 
Therefore, [continue to] accept and welcome one another, just as Christ has accepted and welcomed us to the glory of [our great] God. Romans 15:7 AMP

You are known. 
For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:12 ESV

You are chosen. 
You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.  John 15:16 ESV 

I hope that this encourages you guys! I would love to hear from you! Is this something you have ever struggled with? We can discuss it in the comments below! 

If you found this helpful or you think your friends or followers would enjoy it, would you consider sharing this out? It really helps us to spread this message further and further! Also make sure that you guys are a member of our booming little community, the Living For Love VIP Club. I send out emails for new posts and plus a weekly newsletter with encouragement just like this! You’ll also get our new eBook Overcome! 

Thank you guys for reading! Y’all rock. 

Be kind and be blessed this week!