What does the Bible say about being lonely? How can you get rid of lonely feelings? Where is God when you feel alone?
I was that teenager. The one who constantly acted out and made a show because I felt so alone inside and so unloved. I spent a good portion of my life convinced that "alone" was just something I was cursed to be. Loneliness seemed to just be a part of who I was and would always be. My identity got wrapped up in it. If you struggle with the same ideas let me just tell you upfront that you are worth of love and connection. Loneliness is not a curse you have to learn to live and cope with.
Sadly most people struggle with loneliness at some point in their lives. Loneliness can be interpreted in many different ways to different people but the type of lonely I am talking about is that feeling that you are completely alone even when surrounded by people. It is especially upsetting if you care about those people. I am referring to the type of loneliness that whispers to your heart that no one understands you or your problems. It tells you that you are unknown and misunderstood. The loneliness that drains you and causes you to isolate yourself like you're doing those around you a favor by being scarce. It’s that feeling that says, "no one cares about what’s happening to me so I am going to disconnect from everyone."
In my life, this type of loneliness has led to many seasons of depression, increased anxiety, lots of missed opportunities and several damaged and distant relationships. It destructive to allow loneliness to linger because in that darkness all kinds of nasty things have what they need to grow and fester. The problem I have with this type of lonely is that it is covered in lies.
It is a lie that you are alone. It is a lie that no one cares. It is a lie that you should just keep to yourself.
I am going to tell you best way to combat these lies and the negative emotions that loneliness causes. The way to defeat them is by replacing these lies for the Truth. Now I know that facts may be that people seem distant from you. It may be a fact that you don’t seem to be able to feel or hear from God. I understand that it is a fact that you are lonely. What I am saying is that when we find ourselves in that place we have to make a conscious choice to take a stand and we must cling to the Truth by faith until the Truth outshines the facts.
What is the truth you ask? Well, Scripture is packed with Truth. I want to share some verses that are going to help you tremendously when loneliness begins to whisper those nasty lies in your ear.
“Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.”
So first and foremost I want you to remind yourself who Jesus is. When the lies of the enemy are bombarding you from every angle it is important for you to have the Truth to defend yourself against them. This verse says that Jesus is the Truth. He is Truth and lies have no power in His presence.
Stop and focus on that fact.
Jesus, the one who promises to never leave you or forsake you, is Truth and in His presence lies begin to shrink. Watch those lies swirling around you begin to shrink when you choose to meditate on the Jesus nearness and the Truth He provides.
“Can a woman forget her nursing child, and not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, yet I will not forget you. See, I have inscribed you one the palms of My hands; Your walls are continually before Me.”
This is a life verse for any and all that have ever felt alone, or rejected, or unheard, or forgotten. This has been one of my very favorite verses for years and years. Read how The Message Bible paraphrases it:
“Can a mother forget the infant at her breast,walk away from the baby she bore? But even if mothers forget, I’d never forget you—never. Look, I’ve written your names on the backs of my hands. The walls you’re rebuilding are never out of my sight.”
I love that solid and final never.
The Lord asks, "would a mother do such a thing as to forget or even not want her own child?" Then He answers His question, (& I am going to step out on a limb here and say that I believe He answers His question with deep sorrow) “you know…sadly she might…”
But He doesn't leave it there. He goes on to say some of the most comforting words I have found in all of scripture when struggling with these types of emotions.
He says. “But Me? I will never, NEVER, never forget you. I have gone to great lengths for you. You are literally engraved in my hands. The things you are doing and experiencing and going through are not hidden from Me. I see what’s happening and I am there. You are not alone.”
“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, Is God in His holy habitation.”
Remember who God is. He is always there for His children.
“Where can I go from your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, you are there.”
There is literally nowhere you could go to get away from God even if you wanted to. Rest in that truth. God is ALWAYS with you beloved child of His! Resist any lie that is contrary.
“How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You.”
Love Psalm 139! Just go read the whole thing. Be reminded how fond of you God is!
Psalm 68:6a NIV
"God sets the lonely in families, He leads out the prisoners with singing..."
He has a plan even for the lonely. God knows we need a community to thrive. Relationships are important to the Father. If you are needing some new relationships and connections with godly and encouraging people, know that you Father is aware of that and He cares. He will lead you to those new connections. You have to learn to trust His leading and be willing to step out of your comfort zone.
If you already have relationships that matter to you but wish that they could be deeper and more substantial, know that your Father knows that too. Trust Him.
1 John 4:7-11
“Beloved, Let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we out to love one another.”
I include this verse to
1.) remind you that you are deeply loved and
2.) to remind you are called to love.
This may seem to have little to do with loneliness but that is so far from the truth. In my experience with this emotion, there is ALWAYS some underlying selfishness in my heart. It happens when we take our eyes and our hearts off of serving the Lord and others and start to focus on ourselves and all the things that we think is unfair about our current circumstances. It is in that place the enemy meets us and begins to bombard us with “confirmation” that our lives really do stink and then let the pouting and stewing begin. Next stop the downward spiral.
My encouragement to you my friend is to dive into God Word and drown in His Truth. Soak in the Truth of who the Bible says God is and bask in the comfort of knowing how He feels about you. Be overwhelmed by His love all over again. Then start looking for people who need help or encouragement. They are not hard to find.
Even if you don’t feel any better yet, it doesn’t matter. Cling to Truth, receive the love of God and love others. Even if you were alone, you won’t be for long.
I sincerely hope that this has helped you and given you some hope. As an added gift to you guys, I have made a printable with all of the verses found in this post. I encourage you to print it out and post them around your home or keep them by your bed and read them each morning!
If you have enjoyed this post would you share it with your friends and followers so we can keep spreading this message with people who need to know that they are not alone? There is a small share icon at the end of this post to make that super easy for you!
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Beloved, if God so loved us, we out to love one another. 1 John 4:11 KJV
*All verses are taken from New King James Version unless otherwise stated.
Last updated & spruced up 3/29/17