I dreamed of being a mother my whole life. Growing up my favorite game was “house,” and I would force my siblings to play and I, of course, demanded I be the mother! When Mike and I decided in 2015 that we were ready to start our family, I was so excited. 30 days later I was pregnant, and two weeks later I had my first miscarriage. In my life I have lost two children in pregnancy, a grandmother I adored, dreams and relationships.
Unfortunately, loss, heartbreak, and death are no respecter of persons. We watch dreams die, and people leave and experience loss of careers and love ones. It doesn’t matter what you’ve lost. Loss is loss, and it hurts. In this post, I am going to share the verses and passages of Scripture that helped me through the most challenging seasons of my life thus far.
He Is Familiar With Grief And Loss
It's hard to talk to someone that you believe has never been through anything like what you're walking through. You consider them to be privileged and unable to relate. It is always more comforting to talk with someone you relate to and who knows exactly how you feel and what you are dealing with.
The Father is deeply aquatinted with loss. He knows the pain of being let down and rejected. He knows what abandonment feels like. Jesus was left all alone by the people He loved most in the hardest and most painful hour of His life.
Jesus is aquatinted with sorrow and not just sorrow but our sorrows. The Bible says He literally bore them. He's felt your pain. He bears it with you. We can run to Him when we are hurting and find comfort because He is deeply acquainted with our pain.
“He was despised and rejected by men, a man of deep sorrows who was no stranger to suffering and grief. We hid our faces from him in disgust and considered him a nobody, not worthy of respect. Yet he was the one who carried our sicknesses and endured the torment of our sufferings. We viewed him as one who was being punished for something he himself had done, as one who was struck down by God and brought low. But it was because of our rebellious deeds that he was pierced and because of our sins that he was crushed. He endured the punishment that made us completely whole, and in his wounding we found our healing.” Isaiah 53:3-5 TPT
You Are Not Alone In Your Grief
Because He is so familiar with suffering and sorrows, you can trust that He will not leave you in yours. He knows what it’s like to be left alone when you most need comfort and company. He won’t abandon you to your sadness.
A loss hurts, and recovery is a long and necessary process. In our loss and grief, we can feel so alone and isolated, but our Father never leaves us when we hurt. He actually promises to be close to us and bandage us up in tough times.
“The Lord is close to all whose hearts are crushed by pain, and he is always ready to restore the repentant one. Even when bad things happen to the good and godly ones, the Lord will save them and not let them be defeated by what they face.” Psalm 34:18-19 TPT
“Lord, even when your path takes me through the valley of deepest darkness, fear will never conquer me, for you already have! You remain close to me and lead me through it all the way. Your authority is my strength and my peace. The comfort of your love takes away my fear. I’ll never be lonely, for you are near.” Psalm 23:4 TPT
“This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord, your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 NLT
“Pour out all your worries and stress upon him and leave them there, for he always tenderly cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:6-7 TPT
He Will Comfort You In Your Loss
After our first miscarriage, there was a Sunday at church where everyone around me was worshiping, and I mean really worshiping. It was one of those Heaven touching earth moments where freedom comes, believers get revived, people come to know Christ and shackles fall off. At that moment we were singing a song that says, "You heal every broken heart," I heard the Lord say, "I am going to heal your heart."
When I heard that I sat down and folded my arms and said, “No thank you.”
The next year was long and difficult. I felt a huge rift grow between the Lord and me. And FYI, that space was me caused and completely imagined. God never leaves you. There is never space. Space is a lie and if it is a lie you want to believe God won't overrule you.
A year later I was in another service with the same people, and it was another Heaven touching earth moment, and we were singing the same song, and when that line played, "You heal every broken heart," with hands raised, I began to weep. I am talking total ugly cry. I was overwhelmed by the Truth that God heals every broken heart.
I told Him I didn't want His help and you know what? He stayed with me. He continued to work on me and to walk me through the valley of the shadow of death and in the end He had led me right back out to green pastures. A year later I stood there weeping and overwhelmed by the fact that He healed my heart anyways.
I don't know your story, but loss is loss. So whether you've lost a dream, a child, a relationship or whatever, that hurts. Your pain is valid, and mourning is a necessary process to healing. You are allowed to be sad and even angry.
But I want you to know that you are not alone in your pain. God is there with you. Even if it is Him you are mad at (He's not intimidated by your anger by the way), He won't leave you. He's not uncomfortable with your sadness. He will comfort you through it.
You’re as real to me as bedrock beneath my feet, like a castle on a cliff, my forever firm fortress, my mountain of hiding, my pathway of escape, my tower of rescue where none can reach me. My secret strength and shield around me, you are salvation’s ray of brightness shining on the hillside, always the champion of my cause. Psalm 18:2 TPT
“He heals the wounds of every shattered heart.” Psalm 147:3 TPT
“Are you weary, carrying a heavy burden? Then come to me. I will refresh your life, for I am your oasis.” Matthew 11:28 TPT
“All praises belong to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. For he is the Father of tender mercy and the God of endless comfort. He always comes alongside us to comfort us in every suffering so that we can come alongside those who are in any painful trial. We can bring them this same comfort that God has poured out upon us.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 TPT
“This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life.” Psalm 119:50 ESV
This short and sweet verse has brought me much comfort. I have torn it apart word by word and drawn out the different definitions of the original words. I am a big believer in putting verses in your own words. Here is how I would expound upon this verse:
This is my comfort, my consolation & my breath of fresh air in the midst of my loss & depression that Your Word nourishes & repairs me. It revives my life & Your promises restore me & make me whole. Psalm 119:50 (My paraphrase)
This is your hope. This is what you look to and cling to in trying times. He never walks out on you. He is just as heartbroken at the painful and awful things that break your heart. You matter to Him, and He will not leave you in your pain and suffering. He is always good. He is eternally for you. This pain will not last forever. You can make it through this with Him by your side.
He Will Lead You Out
The pain won't last forever. One of my favorite quotes comes from The Chronicles of Narnia and says, “We shall have spring again.” Just know that you will be okay again.
“God, all at once you turned on a floodlight for me! You are the revelation-light in my darkness, and in your brightness I can see the path ahead.” Psalm 18:28 TPT
“When you pass through the deep, stormy sea, you can count on me to be there with you. When you pass through raging rivers, You will not drown. When you walk through persecution like fiery flames, you will not be burned; the flames will not harm you” Isaiah 43:2 TPT
“Do not yield to fear, for I am always near. Never turn your gaze from me, for I am your faithful God. I will infuse you with my strength and help you in every situation. I will hold you firmly with my victorious right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 TPT
I want you to reread it and this time I want you to read it very slowly, focusing on each word and be aware of the fact that the God of the universe, your heavenly Dad, is speaking these very words right to your broken heart today.
Focus on those promises. God looks at you, and He says, "Don't be afraid, I am with you. I am your God. I am your strength. I will help you. I will hold you up, and I will hold you together."
What are you afraid of today? More loss? That that pain will consume you? Are you afraid that hope is gone? Are you worried that He is disappointed? Do you worry there's no hope in trying again? Do you believe that you are alone or that He has failed you? Let that promise wash over and dissolve those fears.
The Pain And Mourning Will End
“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes and eliminate death entirely. No one will mourn or weep any longer. The pain of wounds will no longer exist, for the old order has ceased.” Revelation 21:4 TPT
“I’ve learned that his anger lasts for a moment, but his loving favor lasts a lifetime! We may weep through the night, but at daybreak it will turn into shouts of ecstatic joy.” Psalm 30:5 TPT
Even if it feels like this brokenness may consume you and become a part of you forever, understand that there will be a time for it to end. Your season of mourning will end. It won't always hurt as bad as it may at the moment.
The season of mourning coming to an end in no way means that you just get over your loss, but it does imply that you will step into new seasons where there will be joy, dancing, laughter, and building.
I know the feeling of wanting to nurse and cling to your mourning and sadness forever because you've bought into the lie that if you move on your loss somehow ceases to matter. That is not true. You honor your loss by mourning in this season and dancing in your next. It's a beautiful and holy thing to keeping living life in all of its fullness and honoring the things and people you've lost by making the most of every moment you've been blessed with.
I pray these verses bring peace to your hearts. They have been such a source of comfort for me. Therefore I am blessed to be able to pass them to you. Know this; you never suffer in vain. Scripture tells us that God keeps a collection of every tear you shed. That tells me that our pain matters and is documented by Him. He has a plan. (Psalm 56:8) God is love, and He redeems, and He restores every broken heart.
It’s easy to accept a lie that the Father is far away or uninterested in what’s happening in your life in this season. We have a free 6-day Scripture writing challenge on the love of God. It is called Extravagant and it focuses on the truth that you are unconditionally loved by the King of the Universe. He see’s your pain and He hurts with you in seasons of loss and grief.
For some encouragement, you can sign up for Extravagant here! Your challenge will start immediately.