I love helping people y’all. I love it so much that I spent a few semesters college pursuing a career in Christian counseling. I eventually put that pursuit on hold when I was promoted to a position that taught me more about counseling than I think any college ever could. Before that happened though I had to settle on a counseling specialty. There was crisis counseling (which is what I went with) and a couple others but the one I knew for sure that I did not want to do ever was marriage counseling.
Marriage counseling seemed like torture to me. I had no desire (as a 21-year-old single woman mind you) to listen to people complain about marriage. That was of course because I knew absolutely nothing about marriage. I knew even less about God’s plan and purpose for marriage.
Now that I am married, God has caused my heart to do a complete 180. I want nothing more than a life and marriage that glorifies the Lord to its full potential. I want my marriage to be as great as it possibly can be and I want it to display the Gospel to all that see it just by witnessing us. I want to help others. I want to learn and absorb as much wise counsel and scripture as I can and I want to apply it and share it out.
I want the church to cherish marriage for the good gift that it is. With all that being said I am well aware that marriage is not easy. WELL AWARE. Mike and I are approaching our two year marriage anniversary and I honestly feel like we’ve been married for a decade after some of the things we have had to weather.
I know it can be hard, but we have an ever present source of help when we need it. (Psalm 46:1) Today I want to share my favorite verses to read and pray over my marriage and why.
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church because we are members of his body. Ephesians 5:25-30 ESV
This is a long one I know, but it is great. Here, read it in the Message translation:
Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.
Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage. Ephesians 2:22-26 MSG
Beautiful, right? It explains submission in a way that isn’t scary and intimidating and it describes the roles of both partners in a way that reminds us that it is a great thing to be in love. It’s not a power struggle but a wonderful partnership.
So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:1-4 ESV
This is a great one to pray over your marriage and every other major relationship in your life. Pray often that the Lord would help you and your spouse learn to be of the same mind and have the same love. Pray that the Lord teach you to do nothing out of selfish ambition but instead, may He teach you to be humble and to count your spouse as more significant than yourself and may He teach your spouse the same thing. Pray that God teaches each of you not to look out only for your own interest but also to the interests of each other and the people around you.
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Hebrews 13:4 ESV
This verse reminds us that marriage is a big deal. It is to be held in honor among all. Our culture today is constantly moving in a direction that would see marriage irrelevant and old fashioned. When our marriages are rooted in Christ and full of love and honor and respect it will inspire awe in the hearts of those who witness our love.
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. John 13:34 ESV
When our marriages are full of love they will inspire awe but here’s the thing. We can’t produce the kind of love that will keep a marriage healthy and awe-inspiring on our own. We need help and we need a great source. That is why this verse is so profound. Jesus told us to love one another but more specifically He told us to love one another the way that He has loved us. Are you aware of how you have been loved? I mean like constantly aware.
Receiving the love of God that is being poured out on us constantly and allowing that love to overflow into our marriages will transform our relationships with our spouses and everyone else around us. You can read more on this in our new Overflow bible study here.
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32 ESV
Bitterness. Wrath. Anger. Clamoring. Slander. We need to be prepared to go to war against these things the instance they pop up in our hearts and minds. Once again this verse tells us to be forgiving just as Christ has forgiven us. Showing kindness and being tenderhearted and forgiving towards our spouses will 100% easier to do when we are aware and full of the love that God showered on us.
Thinking of the kindness He’s shown you when you didn’t deserve it will enable you to be kind to your spouse when they are falling short. Forgiving your spouse's shortcomings will be so much easier when you are aware of all of the shortcomings God has forgiven and washed away from you.
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8 ESV
It is crucial that we learn to love. Love covers the mistakes, weaknesses, and shortcomings of our spouses. Love keeps on loving even when it’s hard and even when it seems love is undeserved. God loves us even when we are at our most unlovely. Learning to believe that and receive that love enables us to love our spouses when they are being unlovely.
That love that we show them will cover them. The word for ‘cover’ carries the idea of hiding away or protecting. When our spouse is at a low place or is struggling, even when they take that out on us, we can look past their behavior and see to their struggling hearts. We can choose to love them in spite of them. We can choose to cover them and hide them away in our love. We can partner with God to remind our spouse how greatly and deeply loved they are.
"You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. Matthew 5:14-16
“Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.”
I asked Mike via text what his favorite marriage verse was and this is the verse he texted back. I know it’s super sweet but it reminded me that we as wives are good things. The enemy is so quick to come in and point out our shortcomings and he is always attacking our identity. He will try to convince you that you are not what the Lord says you are.
I just wanted to take a moment to agree with the Lord and tell you that you wives that you are a good thing. God has greatly equipped you for this job. He is your ever present help in times of need. You are a good wife. You are your husband’s greatest source of help and encouragement aside from the Lord. Do not allow the enemy to rob you of that Truth.
Also if any husbands are reading, your wife is a good thing. Even if your marriage is turbulent and stressful at the moment, she is still a good thing. You have authority to speak that truth over your wife and to your wife. Usually, we spend so much time tearing each other down and telling our spouses facts about themselves that they already know. We tell them that they are rude or naggy or bad cooks or bad spouses. We complain about every shortcoming and every weakness in the other. This is all death.
Try speaking life for a change. Speak Truth rather than facts. Tell your spouse that they are a good thing. Tell them that they are a gift from God. If you tell someone they are something long enough they tend to believe it. Make sure the things you are speaking over each other is life and building rather than death and tearing down.
Thank you guys for reading. I hope you found this helpful. I hope you found at least a verse or two to add to your arsenal. If you enjoyed this post would you consider sharing it? I would love to get this stuff in front of more and more wives.
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I hope that you guys have an excellent weekend.
Be blessed & be kind,