The Key To Overcoming Fear of Rejection

Rejection is a painful thing. I have struggled with rejection for as long as I can remember. I was put up for adoption when I was born. I saw that as a rejection. I grew up in a secular home where I was convinced that I was unloved. Rejection. I acted out in school because I was in so much pain and all I got was treated like the delinquent I was. Rejection. I chased relationships hoping that someone would accept me and validate me and all I got was used and discarded. Rejection. I could go on and on. The point is I lived my life believing that I was a reject and that no one wanted me.

Then Jesus stepped in. I remember the night I got saved. I cried myself to sleep because I was so wonderfully overwhelmed by the fact that if I died I would go to heaven and be with Jesus. I was overwhelmed that Jesus would want to spend all of eternity with me. I am still overwhelmed that He choose to give His life just to make a way to spend forever with me.

Still, life goes on. Even as a Christian people will turn you away. They will reject you and offend you. How do we deal with these situations? How do we deal with rejection in a way that keeps us from retaliating and sinning in our anger? How do we find a way to love in the midst of rejection? I have been going through this quite a bit lately and I think I have some tips and encouragements  to share. This is just some stuff that the Lord has been sharing with me. 


I have talked about this concept many times before on this blog, but I am going to reiterate because it is so crucial that we really get this. We cannot give what we have not received. 

My favorite display of this is in Luke 7. 

A woman with a bad rep crashes a party at the home of a very religious man. This is like the neighborhood lady of the night crashing a party at Deacon Jones house. Jesus is the guest of honor at the party. The woman throws herself at His feet and begins to weep. She washes Jesus’ feet with her tears, anoints them with expensive perfume and wipes them with her hair.

This woman came and poured out all she had before Jesus. This is what I want my life to look like every moment of every day. She didn’t care who was watching or what they were thinking. She didn’t care that everyone knew all the bad she had ever done. She didn’t care. She just knew she needed Jesus. She knew He would accept her. She knew He wasn’t afraid or put off by her past. 

How can we live like? How do we worship like that? Well, Jesus tells us how she was able to live so free when one of the religious guys did what religious people tend to do. He got judgmental and self-righteous. Jesus tells the religious man why the woman could love the way she loves in Luke 7:42. 

“Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.”

I love that Jesus doesn’t sugar coat. Yea, she has a bad reputation. She has committed plenty of sins, but she’s completely forgiven. Her debt is completely paid. She is completely free and completely loved. So love flows freely from her. 
If you want to live free from the fear of rejection you have got to get a better understanding of just where you stand with God. If you are a born again believer then you are completely accepted by God. He accepts you and loves you right where you are. If you are not a born again saved believer know that He still accepts you and loves you right where you are, and if you would believe and receive Him, you can walk free from fear as well. 

Don’t fear it.

We were created for community. We crave and thrive when we are surrounded by relationships that are healthy and edifying. We all want to be accepted. We all desperately want to be known and understood. The reason rejection hurts so much is because it whispers that something must be wrong with us. When we are rejected we tend to let fear in as we choose to believe that our need to be accepted and known won't be met. 

Here is a crazy verse that jumped out at me last weekend. 

For now, we see in a mirror dimly but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:12 (emphasis added)

We are fully known! God fully knows us! He knows every detail of our being inside and out. He knows all of our fears and worries. He knows all of shortcomings and weaknesses. He knows all of our bad attitudes and areas of stubborn pride. None of that scares Him and none of that dims His love. He knows us fully and He loves us still. 

He will ever turn us away. He will never reject us. I think it is also important to acknowledge that Jesus knows what rejection feels like. Isaiah 53:3 says “He was despised and rejected by men” and calls Him “a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief.” He knows what it's like to feel like everyone that matters to you has turned their backs on you. He won't leave you to experience that. Hebrews tells us,

 For we do not have a High Priest Who is unable to understand and sympathize and have a shared feeling with our weaknesses and infirmities and liability to the assaults of temptation, but One Who has been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sinning.
Let us then fearlessly and confidently and boldly draw near to the throne of grace (the throne of God's unmerited favor to us sinners), that we may receive mercy [for our failures] and find grace to help in good time for every need [appropriate help and well-timed help, coming just when we need it]. Hebrews 4:15-16 AMP 

We can run to Him and He will always receive us with open and accepting arms & that takes the fear out of rejection. 

No matter what others choose to do, we are accepted by God. When others reject us or offend us, we can choose to rest in the Truth that we are accepted and loved by God and in that we find strength to keep loving and keep pursuing relationships. Check out this verse in Romans.

Welcome and receive [to your hearts] one another, then, even as Christ has welcomed and received you, for the glory of God. Romans 15:7 AMP

We are told to receive others. That is so hard! People are so difficult! Trust me. I am one so I know! Now through in the fact that by receiving other we are giving the opportunity to reject us! How do we do that?! The key is “even as Christ has welcomed and received you.” Suddenly the fact that we may be rejected by man doesn’t sting so bad. Suddenly I need to keep receiving. I need to let others know that they too are completely accepted!

See how that works?

I truly hope this helps some of you guys. I know how hard it can be to live you life convinced that no one really wants you. I know how hard of a lie that is to break. I can’t even say that I have fully achieved living completely free from this lie yet. I just know that I am getting closer and I am growing more and more confident of who I am and where I stand with God. 

If this did help you then please let me know! Leave a comment below and we can discuss this more! Also please share this out with you friends and followers! Let’s see if we can help a few more of our brothers and sister see the freedom that is available to them in Christ.

Make sure that you are a member of our community, The Living For Love VIP Club! I send out weekly encouragement just like this as well as weekly recaps of things being published here on the site.

Thank you guys for taking the time to read and share! I pray you guys have a blessed week!

Be blessed and rest in the Truth that you are dearly loved,