Five Phrases Christian Women Need To Stop Saying

I love people. I worked in the helps field for 5 years and I am currently surrounded by ministry so I have experienced women at all stages of Christianity…and lack thereof. Today I want to talk about some Christian “catch phrases” that we have all heard and probably even said at some point in our journey. This post is not to condemn but to start a discussion and to challenge each others perspective.

I am unworthy/worthless

“I am so unworthy. I don’t know why He’d save someone as unworthy/worthless as me. I am just a sinner…” Please stop saying these things. I understand what you mean to an extent. On our own our righteousness is as filthy rags.(Isaiah 64:6) However if you are a believer, you are not on your own. If you are born again you were bought at a very high price. You were assigned a worth by God. You are now His chosen. You are now a child of God! (1 John 1:12) What if your five year old walked in and was all “Mom, I don't know why you love someone as unworthy as me!” Ridiculous! Now I am not say you start thinking super highly of yourself because apart from Christ you aren’t much but in Christ you are a new creation. Instead of saying things like this, focus on what being a whole new creation means. Instead research who scripture now says you are!

For thus said the Lord of hosts, after his glory sent me to the nations who plundered you, for he who touches you touches the apple of his eye. Zechariah 2:8 ESV 

You are the apple of God’s eye! That’s who you are. That’s where you put your focus. 

I am/we are all broken

Speak for yourself. I am not broken. I have times where yes my heart gets broken and God puts those pieces back together and heals. As a whole though, we are not broken. We were broken because of our sin and the fact that it separated us from God. I believe the moment we are most receptive to the Gospel is at our most broken. When life has just torn us to pieces and that is when the good news of the Gospel really is like a light on the darkest of nights. Once you accept Christ, you are much stronger than you probably know. You are made whole. You are reconnected with God. (1 Corinthians 6:17)

Now you may have seasons where you feel broken or that you might break. I love what Paul says in 2 Corinthians 4:8-10:  

We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.

You may feel the pressure of your circumstances but don’t claim defeat. You are more than a conquerer in Christ. (Romans 8:37)

No ones perfect/I fall short everyday

The problem with this phrase is where the speaker’s focus is. This saying comes from a person who is focused on themselves and their actions rather than on the Perfect One. My husband shared this analogy concerning this saying. When you are a runner you are trained to look ahead to where you are going when running and in doing so your strides become longer which makes you run faster. Now this didn’t sound like anything helpful to me as he shared this so luckily he went on. Apparently people tend to stare at the ground in front of them as they run. This causes their strides to be smaller! Crazy! I remember a few years ago I took up running for a very brief moment and I remember I naturally just stared at the ground in front of me! Apparently you must exercise discipline and train yourself to look ahead. Looking ahead will cause you to run smoother and faster in the long run. 

If you are always looking at yourself you will be consistently aware of your short comings and you will use saying like this to justify and excuse them. Instead look to the cross and Jesus and be aware of His perfection and you’ll find yourself walking in more perfection than you could imagine. 

By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. 1 John 4:17 ESV
You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect. Matthew 5:48 ESV

It’s all about focus. What are you focused on? Your imperfections or Christ’s perfection?

No judgement/No one can judge except God

Okay. For me to explain this one I am going to have to explain the difference between judgement and condemnation. Condemnation is to condemn something or someone. It means a major fault has been found and now the thing or person is no longer considered fit for use. Condemnation is usually the thing people hate and the reason they say no one can judge them. Judgement, on the other hand, is just your ability to make a thoughtful decision or come to logical and reasonable conclusion. Judgement, at its core, is not meant to be a threatening or hateful thing.

We are allowed to judge people. The Bible tells us it’s okay to judge people. Now some of you may be quoting “judge not lest ye also be judged.” Lets look at that verse in context shall we?

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:1-5 (ESV)

The verse is not saying never judge people. We know that because the same chapter goes on to tell us how to judge people. (Matthew 7:16-20) This passage is warning us to stay way from hypocrisy! It’s telling you that you will be held to the standard that you hold others too. If your brother has a speck in his eye he needs help! Just go and take care of your bigger problems so that you can actually see to help your brother. 

When you define judgement properly, you’ll see that it’s okay to judge. It is okay when you encounter someone to look at their life and make a conclusion. It’s okay to judge they need help, they’re not okay, they are not saved, etc., and then treat them accordingly with love and kindness. If you were going to hire a new babysitter, you would be very judgmental! Right? Judging just means to form an opinion carefully taking evidence into consideration. Judging isn't wrong. Usually it’s what we do after the judgement that is damaging and wrong. 

Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy. Proverbs 31:9 ESV

It is not okay to condemn. That is not our job! God doesn’t even condemn those of us who are in Christ. (Romans 8:38, John 3:18)

It’s just a part of God’s plan

This is usually said to someone who is standing in thewreckage left behind from a huge crisis or loss. Before you say this to someone whose world has just shattered, think about what you are saying. You are saying God did it. You are essentially saying that God is bad. You are ignoring that God has given us, the angels and demons freewill. John 3:16 & 17 says, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.” God loves us. Not just that, He IS love! (1 John 4:16) He’s gone pretty far to communicate that love. He’s not trying to condemn us. He isn’t the source of the attacks that find us in this life. 1 Peter 5:8 says that our enemy is on the hunt. He’s searching like a lion for someone to devour. Devour! That means to swallow up, as in leaving nothing of you behind. He wants to destroy you. That’s what the imagery of that verse communicates. 

Sure God has a plan, and because He is outside of time He knows what will happen and His plan weaves around that fact. His plan is for our good and we can rest assured that what ever attack the enemy or others throw at us God will redeem it. He will bring some good from it but He did not sit down and schedule all of the terrible things that will happen to you in this life. There are so many comforting things you can do for people who are mourning/hurting. However saying this is not one of them.

I hope this post gives you a new perspective. I believe your focus is just so important! We have got to focus on Jesus. If you found this post at all helpful then please share it with your friends. Lets spread this good news that we are loved all around! You can click here to share on Facebook or you can click here to share it on Twitter! & if you want to stay connected and receive updates and encouragement more regularly then make sure you join our growing community!

What other saying did I miss? Let’s continue this discussion in the comments below or shoot me a tweet!

Thank you guys for reading!