When I Don't Know What To Do, He Says "Be Faithful"

I was asking God what to do. How can I be a good wife to my husband? I feel like I am approaching the days where “newlywed” will no longer apply and I still feel like I am failing miserably at loving him well. How can I build a successful business? Sometimes the only thing that keeps me doing it is the fact that I know that I know it is what I am supposed to be doing. How can I be a good friend, daughter, sister, leader, disciple maker, etc. How I just be enough?

I was rambling on just like this when I heard the Lord say two words that put everything into perspective for me. With two simple words He once again calmed the raging storm inside my soul. He said, “be faithful.”

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Meaning of A Love Worth Living For | Nevertheless I Live

I got to thinking last night about what I would want to share with y’all today. If you are a newer reader, on Fridays I share a series I call “Nevertheless I Live” where I share a more casual toned post that is usually more personal then my regular content. Today I want to share with you guys the meaning behind the name of the blog!

I love blogging. I started my first blog when I was 17. I had bloggish platforms before that, but at 17 I created my first real official blog. I have been blogging in some capacity ever since. I started dreaming of having a full time blog before I ever learned that you could actually make blogging your full time job. For years I would brainstorm content ideas and themes and focuses for my someday blog. 

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ALWLF Currentlys! | Nevertheless I Live

Hey y’all!! Happy Friday! I want to start doing more Nevertheless I Live posts which come from Galatians 2:20 which says “I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.” Nevertheless I live is just me sharing my life and whats happening over here. Sometime i have deep things to share like the post where I talk about living a life free from shame. Other times…like today I am just going to talk about general things. I think today is a great day for an update post! I thought I’d tell y’all what I am currently working on here behind the scenes of A Love Worth Living For! Here we go!

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Our 2016 Goals, Themes & Focuses | Nevertheless I Live

Happy belated New Year’s y’all! Hope your first week of 2016 has been full of joy! Mine has been wonderful! Also there are now around 10,000 of you reading this blog! That is absolutely crazy to me. Welcome! I wanted to take some time today to write this post and share some of my goals, planned themes and focus for the year. I want to use this post as a reference point throughout the year to do progress checks. 

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& They Felt No Shame | Nevertheless I Live

Genesis 2:25 and just sobbed. It says, “And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” After reading that verse I doubt any of you are in tears. That’s okay. Let me explain what this verse did in my spirit when I read it that day. In Genesis 1 we read the creation account and we see that everything was good. Then we read where God made woman from man. Then that last verse, “They were both naked and they were not ashamed.” Spoiler alert! The next chapter of Genesis is where everything changes. Man falls. Sin enters. Shame contaminates everything. So this moment where they were both naked and they were not ashamed is powerful. 

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Four Common Misconceptions I Had Before Marriage

You guys know that old saying that says people who assume make a donkey's hind end out of themselves and others? Well, I guess you could label me a donkey hind quarters because I tend to make a lot of assumptions. Turns out I had some assumptions in mind as I went into marriage. Now I am not sure when these assumptions settled into my heart and mind though I would imagine it was gradual over the course of my life and marriage. Some of my assumptions were true but some...well some were not. 

Turns out some of the things I assumed about married life were not all that accurate. My husband and I got married in mid-November of 2014. So, as of today, at the end of February 2015, we have been married three and a half months, which very much makes us newlyweds.

I almost didn’t write this because I realize that we know very little about marriage compared to seasoned married couples. I decided to anyway, though, because even three months in I have learned a lot! In a year or two, I am sure I will have many more lessons to share, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t some value in the lessons I currently have to share.

Before I dive in, let me say that I LOVE married life. It is absolutely awesome. I am having the time of my life. It is overwhelming to me that my husband is mine. Like, for life...Crazy. I love it. I had never lived with a man before my husband, and we both come from interesting upbringings. We both entered this marriage with expectations. Unfortunately, expectations don’t always line up with reality.

Misconception #1: You won't be lonely anymore when married

Reality: Lonely before = Lonely after.

This one was quite surprising to me. I moved out of my parents’ home when I was 20. I spent three years living on my own. From time to time I had a roommate, and it was during those times that I loved living out on my own. However, most of the time I lived alone. I loved those seasons until I hated them. I would be so content being alone for such long periods of time that I would isolate myself and allow myself to fall into these fits of depression. Soon anxiety would overwhelm me and wreak all kinds of havoc on my relationships. Then, one day I would realize, “I am alone. I am alone and I don’t like it.” I would feel so lonely during those times.

I thought that when I got married I wouldn’t have time for those terrible behavior patterns. I thought that my permanent roommate would be the solutions to years of negative behavioral and relational patterns.

Wrong!

I have learned that if you are lonely before you get married, you will probably be lonely after you are married. Bad behavior and relationship patterns don’t cease to exist because you’re married. I still have to work to stay “others-focused” so that I am building healthy and involved relationships with my husband, friends, and family instead of sinking into myself, neglecting those relationships and allowing depression and anxiety to attack me with their lies.

It is not my husband’s job to break those habits, nor is it his job to control my emotions or what I choose to believe.

Misconception #2: Once you’re married, conflict will be easier

Reality: You'll handle conflict married, the same way you did before marriage.

And now all the seasoned married couples begin to giggle at the silly newlywed. I really thought this. I looked forward to marriage because I thought it would make conflict easier! I don’t think I ever outwardly expressed this misconception. I simply thought it in the back of my mind.

Mike and I had to learn to communicate while we were dating. We both came into this relationship with terrible communication skills that we had learned from our families and previous relationships. We spent around four years doing it terribly! Sometimes I am shocked we made it to the altar at all.

During that time, though, I always wished we could just hurry up and get married because once we were stuck together, we’d be forced to work things out. Ha. Nope! Maybe to an extent that is true, but we can let an issue stew for quite a while before we go anywhere near it in a reasonable way. We can go days passive aggressively tiptoeing around an issue that we need to work out. The fact is that even after marriage you still must learn to communicate better. It’s an area you’ll never master because room to grow always exists.

There will always be ways in which we can become better communicators.

Misconception #3: Once you're married, he’ll be better at reading your mind

Reality: Your spouse is still not you, even after marriage.

This one is funny to me now. I love my husband, but my husband is not me. He does not do things the way I do them. He does not react to things the way I react to them. Again, my husband is not me. Even now that we’re married, he is still him. Crazy.

While engaged, we decided that we wanted a relationship in which he is allowed to be him and I am allowed to be me. When we disagree, I try not to turn my husband into myself, and he doesn’t try to turn me into himself. We don’t try to convince each other to agree with our own points of view. Instead, we seek to communicate our sides.

Sounds awesome, right? Hard to do.

I find myself expecting him to do things or not do things. Then I get upset when he doesn’t do them, or when he does them but in a weird way that isn’t how I would have done it. Why does that make me so mad? WHY?! In these last three months, I have learned the answer: even after marriage, he cannot read my mind. He is still him and that’s okay. It goes right back to communication.

If I don’t express to him what I want him to do or, more importantly, what I need from him, especially emotionally, he will most likely not meet that need. This is (usually) not his fault. If I am feeling neglected because he is super-busy with work and I don’t tell him, even though I know he is very distracted, I can’t blame him for my feelings and emotions.

Choosing to punish him is unfair and unproductive.

Instead, I should bring it to his attention. Pull his focus back to me for a minute and communicate what’s happening in my heart. My husband loves me and will try to listen and help.

Misconception #4: Losing your independence and space will be a big issue

Reality: You adapt quickly and when nurtured, love just keeps growing.

I couldn’t have been further from the truth. I thought that even though I was madly in love, I would have trouble giving up my independence. I thought that having my husband with me constantly would cause me to want space and lots of “me time.” I was worried that living with him and having him always around would make me grow tired of him.

Wrong again.

I still have a large degree of independence. That’s just ingrained in me, and I didn’t lose that to marriage. However, I enjoy depending on my husband because he is so dependable. I love loving him. I trust him to be a great leader and provider because his character testifies to the fact that these traits are part of who he is. We both are pretty busy with work on the weekdays. My husband runs a construction business and I am trying to build a business. So in the evenings and on the weekends, I cherish every moment I get to spend with him. I have yet to feel like I need space from him. I love being with him.

My love and my desire to be with him grow every day. I know I am dangerously close to letting this one become a Brad Paisley song, but I mean it. I didn’t think it was possible to love a person as much as I love him now. When he has to go out of town for work, I miss him terribly and count down the time until he’s back. I understand when the Bible tells us in Genesis that the “two shall become one flesh.”

We are two parts of one thing and when we are away from each other I feel that absence.

Maybe this will lessen in time, but I sure hope it doesn’t. I love being in love with him and looking forward to just doing nothing with him. I will fight to make sure that is always my mindset and would encourage all couples to do the same.

I am curious if I am alone on these expectations! Please feel free to share if you relate to any of my misconceptions or share you own in the comments below. Also if you enjoyed this post please consider sharing it out with your friends and followers. There is a share icon below this post to make that super easy for you!

Lastly, are you in the Living For Love VIP Club? It is the best way for us to stay in connected with you so we can keep you encouraged plus you gain instant access to our library of free resources which include our Ebook - Overcome as well as prayer cards and other goodies. The library is constantly growing. 

Nevertheless I Live - Cards!!!

Hello all! Happy Sunday!

Nevertheless I Live - Cards! Why I make Birthday Cards for all of my friends and family. Why sending cards is important to me.
Nevertheless I Live - Cards! Why I make Birthday Cards for all of my friends and family. Why sending cards is important to me.

     Let's talk birthdays! I find Birthdays to be very exciting! However, I have a terrible habit of forgetting them.  After getting married and getting the new craft room up and operating I have made it my mission to start send out birthday cards to friends and family on their birthdays!

Nevertheless I Live - Cards! Why I make Birthday Cards for all of my friends and family. Why sending cards is important to me.
Nevertheless I Live - Cards! Why I make Birthday Cards for all of my friends and family. Why sending cards is important to me.

     I started thinking about it while planning the wedding and sending out well over a hundred hand addressed (and by hand addressed I mean fancy hand lettered) invitations. We don't send cards anymore! Not people under the age of...well lets just say grandmothers. I have never known anyone in my age range (twenty somethings) to send a card. At least none that I have met or seen. We are all about Facebook and texts. Those are awesome but how cool is it to go the mailbox the on your birthday or a day or so before and pull out a card addressed to you and you open it and inside is an awesome (handmade) card?!

     That doesn't happen. At least not to me. I want that for those I love though. A wonderful card to say, "Hey. I am thinking about you. I am willing to invest some time and card making resources to show you that you matter to me. I want you to know that the day in which you began to exist is a big deal to me and I am thankful to have you in my life."

Nevertheless I Live - Cards! Why I make Birthday Cards for all of my friends and family. Why sending cards is important to me.
Nevertheless I Live - Cards! Why I make Birthday Cards for all of my friends and family. Why sending cards is important to me.

So I set out to find a cute planner and address book so that I can make this a priority. It is exciting to me that over the years my little address book (which I had to make out of a cute blank journal using some post it tabs for the letter markers! see what I mean?! address books aren't even that easy to find...) will grow and grow and I hope I never get too busy to stop and send some love.

Nevertheless I Live - Cards! Why I make Birthday Cards for all of my friends and family. Why sending cards is important to me.
Nevertheless I Live - Cards! Why I make Birthday Cards for all of my friends and family. Why sending cards is important to me.

I also want to do Christmas cards! Oh and maybe Easter! I also want to send encouragement cards from time to time as well as get well cards and sympathy cards when I know those around are struggling.

In other news...

Lets talk about what I am currently into.

I am currently reading:

Never Fade by Alexandra Bracken which is the second book in the Darkest Minds trilogy. I am loving this trilogy! I know I am behind but I am hooked. Expect reviews soon!

I am currently listening to:

The Dixie Chicks...I don't know why... Also Makin' Plans by Miranda Lambert because 1. I love everything she does and 2. It makes me think of my handsome husband and our future. I love that line where she says, "I'm not easy to understand, but you know me like the back of your hand." I feel you Miranda.

I am currently watching:

Grimm! I am all about Grimm right now! Living week to week to catch that new episode.

Here's a cute photo of Gharrah from this past week. (:

Nevertheless I Live - Cards! Why I make Birthday Cards for all of my friends and family. Why sending cards is important to me.
Nevertheless I Live - Cards! Why I make Birthday Cards for all of my friends and family. Why sending cards is important to me.

Hope you guys have an awesome week! Make sure to check back this week for more great posts.

What are you guys currently into? How do you feel about getting cards? What about sending them? Let me know below!

I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.

Galatians 2:20

Nevertheless I Live - Cards! Why I make Birthday Cards for all of my friends and family. Why sending cards is important to me.
Nevertheless I Live - Cards! Why I make Birthday Cards for all of my friends and family. Why sending cards is important to me.