This is something I haven't shared a ton about publically but about a year and a half ago it would have seemed we’d lost everything. Mike and I know intimately how it feels when everything is falling apart. We’ve come out the other side of that tough season renewed and so excited to share some of the wisdom we acquired in what was one of the toughest seasons of our lives and our marriage.
What do you do when everything is going wrong? Where is God when everything is crumbling? What comfort is there in the Bible when everything is falling apart? We want to shine some light on all of these questions.
If today you feel like everything is just falling apart and you are not sure what to do or even what to think then this post is just for you. We pray that this post helps to lift your spirit, give you some hope and nudges you closer to the Father. We pray that you also come through this season with a deeper intimacy with God and those closest to you.
Resist The Urge To Blame God
First and foremost, when everything seems to be falling apart, I encourage you to guard your perspective when it comes to the Father. A lot of times in seasons like these we can be praying that God just waves His wand over our lives to correct everything or prevent doors from closing or relationships and jobs from ending. When we don't see that particular prayer answered, we believe that God has also betrayed us.
You have to fight against this temptation. You stand, and you fight against the urge to decide that God is not for you or that He has abandoned you to this season of change and loss alone. That is never true. He’s a good Father, and He doesn't leave you when your life gets a little messy.
A year ago Mike & I’s life seemed to have fallen apart. We were moving into a new season of transition with new priorities, and in the process, he had to let go of his job, and we both lost several of our closest friends. It was very painful, but God was remarkably faithful. He led Mike to another job that is a fraction of the stress and hours he was working before for better pay.
The Lord helped us reach out and strengthen other relationships that turned out to be healing for us. He even brought us new friends that have been so refreshing to us. My point is when you’re in this tough season look to God as your source of help and support rather than the cosmic cause of all of your problems.
Don’t Hide And Foster Shame
Maybe you know the mess you are in is your fault. I’ll tell you a good bit of the mess Mike and I found ourselves in was our faults. That’s a difficult thing to admit, and it’s another reason people will avoid God. Shame.
Let me just dispel that. God is not shocked or taken off guard by this season of your life. It didn’t catch Him by surprise or find Him unprepared. He saw it coming and is prepared to see you through. In Him, you are equipped to handle this. He will bring you through this.
So in this difficult season, seek Him! Seek Him knowing the only reason you are capable of seeking Him is that He first sought you. Seek Him and be found. He promises closeness when our hearts are hurting, and our spirits are heavy.
You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13 ESV
When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:17-18 ESV
Also, don’t hide from people. A lot of times God’s help will come through people so pay attention to who is around you and take a risk and let them in.
Failure Is Just A Thing You Do Sometimes, It Is Not Who You Are
You are not the things you do! This such an important message so please hear me. You are not the mistakes or things you’ve done or do. You are not the roles you play. Mother. Wife. Teacher. Addict. Alcoholic. Abuser. Abused. Liar. Manipulator. Pastor. Whatever. Those are things that you do or struggle with, but they are not who you are.
You are a daughter. (John 1:12) You are the beloved child of the Most High who is filled with dreams and desires and potential and world-shaking power. (Romans 8:11) You are a child of God who has something within her that the world needs. (Luke 17:21) Something only you can add. You are a daughter with the power of life and death in her tongue (Proverbs 18:21) and resurrection power living within her. That’s who you are. (2 Corinthians 5:17)
You are not a failure because you’ve failed. You are not a lost cause or a screw up because things fell apart. It means you tried. You took a chance. You started the business or the ministry. You committed to the relationship and decided to build a secure connection. You were brave, and you tried. Honor that.
I know that it can be quite painful when everything falls apart, and you watch dreams, jobs, and relationships die. My final encouragement for you today is this: keep going! Don’t lose hope. Don’t forget that your Father is a life giver and a reconciler. (2 Corinthians 5:18-19) He can resurrect your dreams and reconcile you to the ones you’ve lost and most importantly He can heal your heart and help you to live life abundantly and joyfully in every season. (John 10:10) When things begin to come apart, you remember that you will not.
And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. Colossians 1:17 ESV
When everything around you is shaking, you know that you can remain stable and steady. (Hebrews 12:26-28; Psalm 40:2)
Lastly, I will leave you with a line from a song that someone quoted to me when major parts of my life were falling apart.
“You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world's not falling apart; it's falling into place I
'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held” (Just Be Held by Casting Crowns)
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If this subject really resonates with you and you would like more materials on navigating difficult seasons in your life, Max Lucado has an excellent book that is available on amazon. (affiliate link.)
I want you to know that we are so thankful for you. We are so glad that you are here right now reading this. It is an honor that God would use us even in the tiniest way by hopefully providing you with some encouragement today. We take that honor very seriously. So thank you!
Finally, live blessed and be kind this week!